feedback

today I have received some pretty good feedback. the feedback was organize your family history and keyshia cole better because it was confusing to the reader and they gave me an example like when i talk about my family relate it back to the icon in some way.



second draft



"The past should stay dead". That's what Keyshia Cole lived by. She didn't let her past destroy her future. Your past can sometimes follow you but its up to each individual to determine if their going to let there past control their future. I decided that I was not going to let my past determine where i was going in life when i moved to San Diego.



San Diego opened many doors for me. i know now that i have been given the opportunity to change this harsh cycle of people not succeeding in my family. I need my past to make me stronger not weaken me i know this is up to me to change. i want to look at my family and the mistakes they have made to make sure i don't make them. "what wont kill you will make you stronger" keyshia Cole didn't let anything hold her back. she had a choice she could have followed her mom on a path of drugs and negativity but she looked ahead. that's what i'm doing. I'm taking what i know and trying to make the best out of what i was given to work with. education is something many of my family members never took advantage of. i have made a decision to finish high school and further my education in college. This is first of many steps to change my family. the things that is admirable about Keyshia Cole is even when she made it big she didn't forget about her family or where she came from. she helped them to achieve there dreams she gave them hope. i hope that i can be an inspiration to further generations of my family to do well and follow there dreams.



Not only has Keyshia Cole inspired me to continue my steps to change but she has influenced me to not only think about how can i help myself or my family but how can I change someone Else's life while following my own dreams. she continue going back to her community to talk to the young people. even though i don't plan on speaking to my old community. i do plan on giving back to the community in another form like community service.



If you can imagine it you can create it. if you can dream it you can be it. said by Ward William Arther.stay determined and don't let anyone tell you, you can't do something and you will succeed in what ever your heart desires.